Blinded

I don't know if this will help, or if I even should type this. The only thing I do know is that the inside of me feels like a giant ball of twine getting tighter and tighter with each breath I take. I've been blinded and so have you. Only when I took off the blinders sitting in front of me was something awfully disturbing. I'm sorry things happened the way they did, but then again I'm not. I'm sorry for how you feel but thats how it is. There is a part of me that wants more than anything for things to just go back to the way they were after you get what you need. There is a more rational part of me that realizes that may not happen, and that the scale is definitely not balanced when it came down to it. Fuck that scale, but this is the hardest that my end of the scale has ever fallen. It can't fall though, it has to be a balance or things don't work. Coming to realize that is one of the more painful things I've ever had to endure. Are relationships all just a big game of chase? Once the initial thrill is over is that it? Why are people so inclined to want what they don't have? I'm not going to spend the rest of my life pretending not to have feelings when I do. If my feelings aren't attractive then I don't know what to say. I'm still waiting to wake up to the sunlight of my window, with you in my arms. It's all been a dream. An awful dream. But I wake up and you're there with me to tell me everything will be ok. You're there and I can hold you and kiss you as much as I want to. You're there and I know I'm happy.

Can't Sleep

I don't know how to help you and dearly wish I could. Every time I try you push me away and things are worse. It seems like if there was an average, things are ok but in the overall picture it keeps getting worse and worse. You need so much and are too afraid to ask for it. What else? There are too many things going on in my head to type right now.

Rhino Love

Lovesick rhino escapes from zoo



ADELAIDE, Australia - A lovesick rhino in southern Australia took his keepers on a wild ride Monday.
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An 18-year-old white rhinoceros named Satara eluded his keepers for more than 12 hours after he broke through the fence surrounding his enclosure.
Zoo keepers at the park say he ran way during the night to go on a date with a nearby female rhino.
Little did he know that she already had company for the night.
One zoo keeper suggested Satara needed a cold shower.
"This is boy rivalry. He wants to get to the females first. If we can't let him in with the females, maybe we'll have to give him a cold shower!" zoo keeper Chris West said.
(Copyright NBC Newschannel. All rights

This is wonderful:

Eric Scott used a hydrogen-peroxide powered jet pack to cross the Royal Gorge near Canon City on Monday, pushing the outer limits of a technology long ago abandoned by the military. According to a spokesperson for Scott, he completed the flight in 21 seconds. The jet pack itself only contained 30-seconds-worth of fuel. The Royal Gorge, cut by the Arkansas River in southern Colorado, is more than 1,100 feet deep. The Royal Gorge Bridge that spans it was the site of a deadly stunt in October 2003 when Dwain Weston, 30, apparently miscalculated a parachute jump while wearing a "wing suit" and hit a railing on the bridge and fell to his death. Scott works for Denver-based Jet P.I., which developed the futuristic-looking jet pack for stunts, promotions and other events around the world for Go Fast Sports & Beverage. Both companies were founded by Troy Widgery.
For more please visit http://www.gofastsports.com/

Distraction

This is yet another distraction from my last few pages of schoolwork. Ever. Well, unless I decide to go to graduate school, but that won't be for a little while. With almost six years of college done I need a break for a bit.

Thanksgiving is only three days away and I can already taste Turkey. Stuffing. Gravy. I don't really know if I want to continue to think about it right now, but bottom line is that its coming up soon. Another thing coming up soon is my graduation, which anyone reading this is invited to. It is Dec. 13th at 9 am, in the convention center. I guess they wanted to make us wake up early one more time before we graduate.

I'm sure I've told you if we've talked recently, but Fletcher and I crossed off number 86 on my list. It was incredible experience, especially when we were calling out coordinates in the frozen section of Safeway. I very much enjoy creating social situations that people are confused by, or don't see everyday. I think everyone would have a lot better of a time in life if they weren't so worried about being normal. Being uncomfortable or in a new situation is when we grow the most as people; something I've come to realize lately. I've also realized lately that I am very fortunate to have the friends and family in my life that I do. Me thanking everyone in a blog really doesn't really do it justice, but thank you.

In the meantime, Lilly is really starting to get lonely. She is constantly trying to stand on me, talk about her personal problems, and even insist that we go downstairs and "play ping pong". I think shes starting to get a little jealous. Sorry girl.

Happy Thanksgiving

Things

This is a list that I've been compiling over the last few days. Let me know if you would like to be a part of any of these....

100 Things To Do Before I Die (In No Particular Order):

1. Streak across a college campus
2. Tell my wife I love her
3. Be on the show 'Iron Chef'
4. Go skydiving
5. Grow an enormous beard
6. Not shower for a week
7. Master a musical instrument
8. Write a symphony
9. Backpack in Asia
10. Benchpress my own weight
11. Sail a sailboat
12. Win a Grammy
13. Own a house on the beach
14. Have kids
15. Invent something useful
16. Own a vintage car
17. Run a marathon
18. Win a peach eating contest
19. Speak a foreign language fluently
20. Save someone's life
21. Find religion
22. Write a book
23. Play ping pong in the olympics
24. Learn how to fence
25. Have sex on the beach
26. Have sex in a library
27. Dance on an airplane
28. Have sex on an airplane
29. Waltz on the Eiffel Tower
30. Put a message in a bottle
31. Own a restaurant
32. Become a pro surfer
33. Try out for a professional sports team
34. Help someone in need
35. Bowl a perfect game
36. Drive a semi-truck
37. Build a treehouse
38. Swim with sharks
39. Get a piercing
40. Fly an airplane
41. Stop a fight
42. Start a fight
43. Play in the world series of poker
44. Learn how to skateboard
45. Donate a large amount of money
46. Make moonshine
47. Spend the night in jail (just one)
48. Trick-or-treat when I'm 60
49. Ride a giraffe
50. Sell a recipe
51. Own a motorcycle
52. Ring a church bell
53. Get a doctorate
54. Make a gold record
55. Prevent a crime
56. Shear a sheep
57. Build a log cabin
58. Not sleep for 2 days
59. Fight an animal (alligator/lion/koala)
60. Own an exotic animal
61. Ride a bicycle across the country
62. Camp for a month
63. Set a world record
64. Be a limo driver
65. Interview a celebrity
66. Make a speech when I'm not supposed to
67. Challenge a cop to race
68. Get the letter 'Y' to be considered a full-time vowel
69. Go to a soccer game in Brazil
70. Learn sign language
71. Be in an underwear ad
72. Yell on a bus
73. Draw a perfect circle
74. Memorize Pi to 100 digits
75. Crash a party
76. Read the entire dictionary
77. Stay in a European hostel
78. Ride in a bobsled
79. Work on a shrimp boat
80. Carry the olympic torch (ping pong)
81. Buy an excessive amount of kiwi
82. Argue with a stranger
83. See the northern lights
84. Ice fish
85. Become a yo-yo master
86. Play battleship for 8 hours straight
87. Play bingo
88. Kiss in the snow
89. Talk to a telemarketer about personal problems
90. Be on a talk show
91. Learn how to play tabla (Indian percussion instrument)
92. Inspire someone
93. Take a random vacation
94. Buy a homeless person food
95. Weave a basket
96. Bring back a trend
97. Chaperone a high school dance
98. Slip on a banana peal
99. Discover an element
100. Live every day like its my last

Narrow

I dont know what words to type but I just had to type something. She hasn't seen as many years as me, but it doesn't matter. I had the same dream three nights in a row. Doesn't that mean something? She's gorgeous, but I can't tell her. She's perfect, but I can't tell her. I guess someone can, but it won' t be me. Its funny how things work up until the very point that they need to, but when you need them to work most they fail. Feeling helpless is one of the worst feelings in the world for me, and lately its all that I've been feeling. Goodnight