Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I don't know if this will help, or if I even should type this. The only thing I do know is that the inside of me feels like a giant ball of twine getting tighter and tighter with each breath I take. I've been blinded and so have you. Only when I took off the blinders sitting in front of me was something awfully disturbing. I'm sorry things happened the way they did, but then again I'm not. I'm sorry for how you feel but thats how it is. There is a part of me that wants more than anything for things to just go back to the way they were after you get what you need. There is a more rational part of me that realizes that may not happen, and that the scale is definitely not balanced when it came down to it. Fuck that scale, but this is the hardest that my end of the scale has ever fallen. It can't fall though, it has to be a balance or things don't work. Coming to realize that is one of the more painful things I've ever had to endure. Are relationships all just a big game of chase? Once the initial thrill is over is that it? Why are people so inclined to want what they don't have? I'm not going to spend the rest of my life pretending not to have feelings when I do. If my feelings aren't attractive then I don't know what to say. I'm still waiting to wake up to the sunlight of my window, with you in my arms. It's all been a dream. An awful dream. But I wake up and you're there with me to tell me everything will be ok. You're there and I can hold you and kiss you as much as I want to. You're there and I know I'm happy.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Can't Sleep

I don't know how to help you and dearly wish I could. Every time I try you push me away and things are worse. It seems like if there was an average, things are ok but in the overall picture it keeps getting worse and worse. You need so much and are too afraid to ask for it. What else? There are too many things going on in my head to type right now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Rhino Love

Lovesick rhino escapes from zoo

ADELAIDE, Australia - A lovesick rhino in southern Australia took his keepers on a wild ride Monday.

An 18-year-old white rhinoceros named Satara eluded his keepers for more than 12 hours after he broke through the fence surrounding his enclosure.
Zoo keepers at the park say he ran way during the night to go on a date with a nearby female rhino.
Little did he know that she already had company for the night.
One zoo keeper suggested Satara needed a cold shower.
"This is boy rivalry. He wants to get to the females first. If we can't let him in with the females, maybe we'll have to give him a cold shower!" zoo keeper Chris West said.
(Copyright NBC Newschannel. All rights